An Open Letter to President Obama...

He is not going to ride to our rescue or help in this fight. EVER

RALLY tonight in DC -- Dupont Circle 5:30PM in response to the loss in Maine.  

Come, come, my conservative friend, wipe the dew off your spectacles, and see that the world is moving."
-Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Secondly, it really pisses me off when gays make fun of religion. I've been a catholic my whole life and my faith is very important to me. And the suggestion that all catholics are evil, blah blah, hate gay people, only keeps dividing the two groups. Do you think that a woman who's torn between YES or NO on gay marriage is going to vote to allow it if the group she belongs to is constantly being attacked and made fun of on a regular basis? Catholics believe in Jesus, in the bible and what's written in it, including the part of homosexuality being a sin. Attacking them, accusing them of hate is not going to help your cause. You keep comparing yourself (another thing that annoy me) to the black civil rights movement. Then you should do well to follow the teachings of its most prominent leader, Martin Luther King. Violence and attacks don't work. So how about YOU stop with the hate?

I'm pro gay marriage. Why am I pro gay marriage? I believe in the separtion of church and state, which is pretty naive ideal, if I do say so myself, but that's another post for another day. And I'm a devout Catholic. Do I believe homosexuality is a sin? I don't know, worrying about my own soul is trouble enough.

I do wish to point out a couple of things, though.

No where in my letter do I refer to religion at any point.  I refer to the forces of oppression, not religion.  Additionally, I am not seeking any sort of religious recognition of my union with my partner.  Frankly, I could care less.  I am referring to civil marriage.  I want social security benefits for my partner, I want federal income tax protection, I want to be able to speak for my partner in a time of crisis.  I want all of the over fifteen hundred federal benefits afforded recognized married couples. All the same ways as other marriages are respected in society.  My relationship with a spiritual being is completely outside this discussion and not germane.

And I in no way disrespected any religion.  I believe you read too much into my statements.  Perhaps I should have made that more clear.  I apologize for that confusion.

And I do believe that the references regarding the Civil Rights Act of 1964 are completely appropriate.  I agree that gay is not the new black, but there are so many similarities to the issues that faced and continue to face the black community and the things that happen to our community that there is wisdom to be found there.

-Sandy

Blacks went through slavery, apartheid, being killed, and weren't even considered human in the constitution. We've had to wait hundreds and hundreds of years to gain some civil rights and yet millions of African Americans still live in horrondeous conditions.

In the last couple of 20 years gays have gained a lot of rights and more Americans are pro-marriage.

You know it's not the same damn thing.  

Sarcasm intended

And I bet that was pretty hard for him. You know, with the bomb threats and the church killings and all.

I'm refraining from name-calling, but just barely.

Are you REALLY going to presume to tell us that you know more about black civil rights and struggle than Coretta, Bayard, Julian Bond, Al Sharpton, John Lewis and all of the TRUE civil rights heroes who have publicly, passionately and repeatedly argued against your angry and misinformed rant?

I don't want to get into a tit for tat stupid discussio with you but just because gay people weren't enslaved because they were gay (even though every race that has been enslaved has included gays) NIETHER do you hear of black kids committing suicide because of their race, or being disowned and thrown out by their families because of their race, or coming home from school after being harassed and bullied and assaulted for their sexuality and then, rather than being comforted, supported and protected by their parents and family, find themselves hiding their torment for feel that their parents/family will abuse them even worse, or as often happens DO abuse them even worse.

And you don't think gay people aren't being killed and lynched EVERY SINGLE WEEK in America TODAY?  Read this blog regularly and educate yourself.

So are out problems the same?  No.  But does that mean our movements are totally different?  HELL NO!

Gay people were not enslaved, segregated, or forced to live under the threat of death from mob rule. Did I say gays don't face discrimination and hate crimes? NOT ONCE. Point that out to me will you? You act as if everything is peachy keen for black folks right now.

The movements are HELL NO not the same. The movements are so freaking different it's insane. I mean YOU can protest without the police letting DOGS loose on you!

Martin Luther King mentioned the "unspeakable horrors of police brutality," not being able to "gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities," and that the black American's "basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one." Many African-Americans remember what it was like to be denied basic rights, and it's too great a leap to compare their suffering to that of homosexuals who cannot marry.

THAT is what I pointed out when I said, "And you don't think gay people aren't being killed..."

Did I misquote you or did you misspeak or forget what you said?  Or did you just get carried away trying to make your point and just accidently said something stupid?

And out of ALL the civil rights heroes I listed that compared the gay rights movement to the civil rights movement you IGNORED CORETTA, BAYARD, BONDS and LEWIS, and TWICE disparaged me for listing Sharpton?  No matter how you feel about his more recent antics you should be ashamed of yourself for degrading the courageous work he did alongside MLK Jr. (and by the way, he IS a Jr., Jesus, I would think that YOU would know that).  

Why did you fail to even acknowledge the other heroes I listed?  Why did you ignore what THEY have had to say about gay rights "vs" civil rights?

One more question.  Just how many days exactly were YOU personally "enslaved, segregated and forced to live under the threat of death from mob rule"?  You speak as if you've experienced it yourself and gay people were to blame.  A whole lot of bitterness and anger directed at the wrong people.  You should be JOINING us is fighting our common oppressors instead of coming here to spew ignorance and attack us on behalf of people who don't give a shit about us OR you.
 

You support gay marirage and I praise you for it - but your church most fervently does not. It opposes every gay rights proposal - from hatre crimes to anti-discriminated to marrioage - way back to when gay sex was illegal and could be prosecuted.

And I don't think it's unreasonable to accuse an organisation of hate when it has this terrible record. The Catholic church has shown us no love at all - yet we're expected to be nice to an organisation that has opposed our very existence?

Do you honestly think that if we're nice to the Catholic church they will stop paying millions to oppose our every right? That a pope that called us a threat on par with global warming will embrace us?

Do you really think the hate is primarily coming from US?

So now you hate the Catholics, the Mormons, the Christians whom all make up about half of the world's population. That's a bad strategy. The only hope, in my humble opinion,  is to reach out to the individuals, the Catholics in your neighbourhood, your friends and family. Show them what being gay is all about. People are still wary about the whole things. You cannot change someone perception of you by going on the attack, by calling the church they love evil.

Was that part really necessary? Did making fun of MY faith make you feel better? This is the kind of crap that pisses me off something serious. It's like people can't have a healthy discussion without it getting ugly. Ever heard of symbolism? How about we keep the Holy Sacraments out of it, huh? I guess this one falls under an attack to the "institution" and not delusional old me.  

What the hell makes you think that YOU are the only one with a claim to a Catholic background?  More to the point, what the hell gives you the notion that only YOU have a right to say anything about the goddamned church? You think you're pissed off?  Honey, you're not even in the race.

I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights.  -Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Today I read in The Hill that congress does not want to include in their 2010 agenda any issues that attract controversy such as immigration reform, global warming, and DADT. This was another knife in my gut today after what happened in Maine last night. See link:
http://thehill.com/homenews/ca...

I can't help but wonder if President Obama has squandered his first year in office showing extremely little progress on LGBT issues. I knew from the start if his promises were not honored in his first year we would have little chance of progress in 2010.

Being a bi-national couple living in exile in a foreign country for the last 3 and a half years, it's hard to keep any hope with you life on hold permanently. My partner and I are not getting any younger and we feel like life is passing us by. We had hope that UAFA would come up for a vote but looks like it is dead also.

...but by what effort on your part did you partake to ensure that this bill would pass through Congress?  Indeed, it had to be an amendmant to the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010 to ensure it's passage.  I heard no statement from you or your office stating your official support other than stating that if it came to your desk you would sign it.

This is a popular untruth and only works if you are unfamilliar with the President's statememnts. On SEVERAL occasions he voiced his support for Sheppard/Byrd. It was not some sort of state secret.

Next, people really need to come off of this idea that the President should be commenting on this stuff left right and center. Presidents spend the majority of their time talking about their big issues and pushing them publically.

More importantly, need to stop with this whole "multi-tasking argument." Multi-tasking is clearly on of the things he does well. However, in the pantheon of issues on which he must focus his attention (2 wars, a struggling economy, health care, energy/climate change, Russia, Iran, China, and North Korea) lets face it LGBT rights is not going to be high on the list. Indeed, it would not be high on ANY President's list.

People can feel angry all they want, but the fact is that Obama has from the start said that he opposes gay marriage and was not going to stick his neck out to stop something that he has already gone on record as opposing. He may not like the idea of enshrining discriminatio into law, but it would be illogical for him spend much time advocating for a law that grants marriage.

But he was for affording all committed couples regardless of gender mix the same benefits as mixed gender couples.  This also addresses issues regarding mixed gender couples that wish to have the benefits of domestic partnership but not lose, say, social security benefits were they to get married.

His stance is against a religious recognition of gay marriage.  I'm fine with that.  Just give me the same government benefits.  If you want to call it domestic partnership or civil marriage, fine with me.

Additionally, I don't hold the federal government or the president responsible for recognition of marriage.  That is a states rights issue and not federal issue.

My point in the letter was not that the president was or was not promoting gay marriage (though that would have been nice), but that he has not put any real skin in the game regarding DOMA and DADT.  He can say all the rhetoric he  likes about support, but until he starts some arm twisting to get these measures passed, I will continue to refer to him as supportive, but silent.

-Sandy

Had this been a civil union referendum than I would've agreed with you. PLUS Obama has said about ten times that he's against propositions for TAKING rights away from people. Do you really think you have a valid reason other than a sentimental one to attack him?  

So either he lied in 1996 or he's lying now.  Either way it makes him look like just another scumbag politician who sells his principles, morals and credibility for a vote.
 

Google it, why don't you?  

so what's your point.

We need our government's help.  Let it be known, LGBT Americans are being oppressed by majority rule in the USA of 2009.  That is, Americans oppressing Americans, for no other reason than being different.  If we continue down this road it will surely lead to civil disaster as it has it the past. I'm a lucky one stuck in a technicality, a transwoman who is married to another woman because of my birth sex.  Kind of funny, persons of same-sex cannot be married, but a transwoman can marry another woman...so long as my gender does not change on my birth certificate.  Anyways, I've lost my point.  Hopefully the above makes some sort of nonsense to you, there's injustice afoot, and it's on your watch.

Obama can sign a bill or veto a bill but congress holds the power to decide what does and does not make it into law.

The last eight years the "President" took too much power away from congress and they let him...and I do mean ALLOWED him to take executive powers left and right. This is anything but democratic. The balance of powers is now all out of whack and no one knows where to turn to get things done!

To the lifelong Catholic: History has shown that "Christians" are the most hateful people on this earth (my parents included). This last round of No on 1 battles are a prime example of this type of behavior that has been displayed for many, many, many years.

And yes, the Catholic church has been known to throw quite a few doozies themselves. For example, blaming homosexuality on their pedophile priest problems? That was dead wrong. At one time the Roman Catholic church even condemned homosexuality but sanctioned prostitution as a "necessary evil" to repopulate the earth. HOWEVER, there are liberal catholic churches and even in the 1950's in Britain, the catholic church made a push to legalize homosexuality.

Until recently, not the same could be said about christian churches. Right now what we're dealing with are certain sects of christianity - while relatively small in numbers, they carry huge a weight with money and other religions when it comes to gay rights.

So yes, many of us are incensed with religion and rightfully so. Right here, right now, religious beliefs are why we do not have rights. Is it the correct attitude to have with certain religions? Perhaps not. We really do need these people on our side but right now we are angry and many of us don't know exactly how to handle institutions that lie and distort our lives. We are all learning and we will more than likely mature with one another on this matter but like anything, it will take time.

Read David Mixner's column. http://tinyurl.com/yzqsv75
I, for one, am with him all the way. Enough spending millions (over $100,000,000 just in two years!) and ending up WORSE OFF.

Second, call this campaign against us what it is - Gay Apartheid.

Refuse to allow any of our fellow Americans, President Obama or our allies to view this as a political issue who time hasn't quite come. America is in the process of creating a system of Gay Apartheid. We will not quietly sit and accept it

...acknowledging all the recent hard work.

My hats off to the brave people, gay and straight, of Maine and Washington who fought in the trenches. We all are so proud of you and to be part of your community. You have no idea how much we love you for your work, dignity and honor. However, it is no longer acceptable to be viewed as brave, patient warriors in defeat.

I don't want to be a brave warrior, I want to be a free one.

http://queersunited.blogspot.c...

What am I supposed to feel? I'm depressed, angry, sad...the whole nine yards.

Oh, I'm in Boston now. I will make my way back to Chicago but can't be in New England and not do Boston.